What is The Work of Byron Katie?

In its most basic form, The Work consists of four questions and a turnaround.
The questions are:

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it's true?

How do you react, what happens, when you think that thought?

Who would you be without the thought?

Then turn it around, it being the concept you are questioning, and for each turnaround find three genuine and specific examples of each turned around statement in your life.

It's not a quick question and answer process. It's more of an active meditation. You sit with each question and answer and really feel it in your body and notice how you feel every step of the way.

For example I posted The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer here because I came across it again and remembered that I had liked it very much in the past. It is a poem about relationships of all kinds, not just romantic ones, and about all desires we think we should fulfil to connect with each other. Then I reread it and realised that I don't hold any of it to be true for me any more! So I'm going to use a line from that to show the work in action. (I've removed the post of The Invitation as it's very long but anyone wanting to read it can see it here: www.oriahmountaindreamer.com

The main thrust of the poem centres around 'I want to know" and then each 'I want to know" follows with a list of desired outcomes eg. "I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing."

So let's do the work..

I want to know - is that true?
Yes

I want to know - can I absolutely know that that's true
No I can't absolutely know that

How do I react, what happens, when I think that thought - I want to know?
I feel pressure. I feel out of control when I can't know. I feel angry and unsettled. My mind travels into the future and projects that if I can't know that I'll have lost something. The feeling of wanting becomes like a void or a giant mouth that just can't get enough. My body feels heavy and my stomach knots.

Who would you be without the thought - I want to know?
I'd be at peace. I'd be content with the openness of not knowing. The future feels open, exciting and expansive again. My body lightens and I feel a real sense of relief.

Turnaround 1
I don't want to know
eg. When I read a book or watch a movie I love the excitement of just moving through page by page or scene by scene not knowing where the story is going to take me
eg In life I live in a don't want to know way. I notice I don't really like very fixed plans and I prefer to let things evolve
eg. In relationships I realise now when I look back that I like the idea of knowing but in reality what I really look for is the comfort of just being. When the feeling is clear there is nothing to know.

Turnaround 2
I want to know about my thinking about want
eg. I notice that when I get into wanting to know what someone else wants or thinks that I put myself in a situation of stressful thinking as my thinking is trying to hold onto something impossible to attain. It is trying to project a future that hasn't happened and blocks acceptance of the truth of the present.
eg I realise that what someone else thinks or wants is their business and is in their minds. It has nothing to do with me and thinking that it has is hopeless
eg. People interacting only need to have one common thought, the thought that they like being in each others company. If they have that common thought they spend time together if they don't have it they don't. All the other thoughts are just ideas to swap around and play with. Thinking I 'want' to know more then blocks me from seeing what actually is right in front of me

So as an outcome what feels as true or truer. Having worked it I don't want to know is much truer for me. That thought brings me peace. When I believed I want to know it brought me stress.

Fun

Just in case any one is wondering why there are some strange videos of cats currently in the Byron Katie selection it has to do with an analogy Katie uses when she says: "If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, "Meow." Wanting reality to be different than it is is hopeless." So that's the reason that bit of fun is there at the moment.

As we're on the topic of fun, for anyone who enjoys a bit of humour there's a great site called www.theonion.com that runs spoof stories and really casts a humerous and sometimes risque eye on news and current affairs. Warning - most are fine but there are one or two that are not suitable for kids or adults either for that matter so be discerning before you click.

Inquiry Circle

Thanks to all who came to the February workshop. I really enjoyed it and it never stops amazing me and inspiring me when I see the action of doing The Work having such an immediate effect, especially for those who are trying it for the first time.

We're going to try and get an Inquiry Circle going in the Bantry area so anyone interested please email me (link to email is on left).

The next workshop will be in March and I'll put the dates up next week.

Favourite Children's Books

What we read and love as children stays with us and shapes the adults we become. I've been thinking a lot lately about the joy that reading brought me as a child, and reminding ourselves of that is such a good way of opening to and of remembering our inner creative process. With that in mind I've started a new blog (http://hotbooksthatrock.blogspot.com/ - link on right) where I invite everyone to write about the books that inspired them as children and indeed about any children's books they have discovered or rediscovered now as adults.

And what are children reading now? What do they like? What issues really get their attention? I'd love to know if it's all very different now or if children actually enjoy the same things generation after generation, I also really want to encourage children to write there so they have a forum to share their views, so if there are children you know who would enjoy this please ask them to write there - but only if they want to. Nothing should ever be forced in life :)

School for The Work

In October I went to sunny LA to train at a nine day School for the Work with Byron Katie. What an amazing experience and what an incredible person to learn from. Katie is just an incredible presence and it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to learn directly from her. Though the nine day course is very intensive and really hard work, no thought is left unturned and I personally came away from it very clear that Katie's method, simply called The Work, is really the most effective way for me to pass on the core messages of Dance with Life in a workshop forum. So I'm really looking forward to sharing this in the 2008 workshops. Speaking of which, the first workshop is on in February 2008:

Be Stress Free in 2008
Start the New Year with a Clear Mind!
Bantry - February 3rd 2008
One day workshop with J.M. Hurley
Our thoughts create all the fear, anger, stress and depression in our lives. How different would your life be if these negative thoughts never bothered you again?
We continually write our own stories. Who would you be without your story?
In this workshop participants will get a gentle introduction to stilling the mind, focusing intent and living consciously. Participants will also be introduced to The Work of Byron Katie, a radical, but very simple, mind-clearing process.

Update on workshops

Most of the workshops are deferred until the new year as I'm off to complete a training with Byron Katie later this month. I've been using her techniques, called The Work, more and more as a means of making the ideas in 'Dance with Life' real in other people's lives. Sorry for all the chopping and changing, it's just that incorporating this format properly takes a bit of time. It will be worth it as The Work in action is pretty remarkable and fun too!

You were made for joy...

Here's a nice extract from a talk given by Maharaji recently:

"It’s not about the what’s going on in the world. It’s about what’s going on in your life.
It’s about what you see. What you feel.

Do you feel your heart? Do you feel the passion to want peace in your life? Do you feel the passion for joy in your life? Do you feel the passion for contentment in your life? Do you feel the passion for understanding in your life?

Do you feel the passion for clarity in your life? What do you want?

What drives you? Every day, what drives you? Is it the logic or is it the passion? Is it all your reasonings – “But I have to, but I have to…” Or is it the desire from deep within you to want to be fulfilled?

If you acknowledge that in your life, then it becomes the companion. It becomes that force that shapes you, that evolves you, that turns you towards what you were made for.

You were made for joy."

Loving What Is - Byron Katie

This was the title of Byron Katie's first book and the whole process she uses really has the capacity to turn your life around. She devised a method of inquiry which she calls The Work. The Work helps us see where we are at war with reality by using a process of four questions and a turnaround, to achieve a better understanding of ourselves. She commonly refers to this process as Inquiry which leads to self-realization and the end of suffering. Rather than explain how the whole process works here anyone interested can go to www.thework.com where you really will find all you need to do it for yourself.

What does it mean in reality? Well exactly that! All we have is in reality and reality is in the actual experience of the moment we are in. In relationships, in work situations, in family get togethers for example how often do we bring a whole other drama along in our own heads. When we sit there with 'he said', 'she said' and remembered hurts, arguments, conflicts and sad memories floating in our thoughts, how present are we to what is actually going on right in front of our eyes? Can there be any room for resolution or forgiveness or healing or even for simply relating when we sit there mentally throwing big cauldrons full of a blend of old and often misinterpreted issues, faulty thinking, and judgments at each other? The real aim is to feel unconditional love and unconditional truth for our own selves and by understanding what this means it flows naturally to include the people and events in our lives. It may be hard to do this. It may involve facing uncomfortable thoughts and emotions. It may involve having a really good look in the mirror and unconditionally accepting the person looking back at us. We cannot argue with reality. To do so is a waste of energy and resource. We can only accept it understand it, embrace it and then be open to live in the present. And that is freedom.

The Weather...

I've been observing this summer just how much we are influenced by the weather. It's no accident that the sun is so often used as a symbol for the divine and for inspiration. Without our inner and outer sunshine we wither and fade and so sun deprivation can actually manifest as depression, negativity and general gloom! So what to do about it? Well I've just a few sugestions that really help me:

1. Take a holiday in the sun if you can (obvious but very therapeutic!)
2. Surround yourself with light colours. Introduce colour to your home, wear bright clothes, hang a bright sunny picture in a position where you see it most.
3. Listen to summer songs - light bubbly and full of fun to lift the spirits
4. Watch something or do something that makes you laugh every day
5. If sun deprivation really affects you physically get a light box, a daylight bulb and a himalayan salt lamp
6. Pick a positive thought and positive image to start and end every day. For example when you wake in the morning visualise yourself on a sunny beach or walking in a summer meadow, then think about all the things for which you are grateful. Try to return to that thought whenever you feel yourself slip during the day and really practise this before you go to sleep as it's very important for mental wellbeing that your thoughts before sleep are positive, cheerful and removed from whatever stresses are going on in your life.
7. Make yourself smile - even when you don't have anything to smile about! The facial muscles actually influence your mood so when the brain reads 'smile' signals it believe you are happy and releases the appropriate chemicals to verify this.. :)

Seminars

Just a note to say sorry that I haven't posted seminar dates yet. It's been very busy and so unfortunately I have had to postpone all seminars until mid October. I'll post the dates as soon as I can. In the meantime if you want to go on the mail list then please click on Coaching & Seminars and email me via the email link there.