My thoughts of the last few weeks have been with a very beautiful lady called Greta who died following a brave and inspiring battle with cancer. She and her husband are such an inspiration and brought me to a whole new thinking on the story of relationship. We get so caught up in the trivial stuff in life, the drama, the manipulations, the power struggles etc. that we can take the gift of living so for granted. Until of course reality comes knocking and the inevitable truth that our time here is precious, limited and uncertain. The question that this amazing couple brought me to is who can we die with? We spend a lot of time looking at who we want to live with, but when the chips are down, when every breath is precious, when there is no more room for pretense or polite conversation then what becomes magnified is truth and real nitty gritty warts and all love. This couple loved and grew in love to the bitter end, loved not only each other and their children but all who they knew and held close to their hearts. So many romantic novels of old ask the dramatic "Would you die for me?" question. But in real life the question is can you die with me and can I die with you? Can we hold and sustain each other through the hardest that life can throw at us? And even in the hard times can we find the space to learn and grow and evolve? The person you can die with is the person you can live with and whether that is a lover, a family or a friend it doesn't matter. All that matters is that it's real. Because in the end reality and truth and love are the things that sustain us. All the rest is trivia.
To see Greta speaking about her journey and her deep experience of Maharaji's beautiful teaching go to: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KPLbYS26Xu8
(direct link in links on left)
Monday, August 25, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
What is it worth?
I was thinking today about the idea of what something is worth and it reminded me of something Byron Katie said. She said: "What you believe is your religion and your entire devotion is dedicated to believing that, and there is no room for God in it. That is your God. What you believe is your God."
We've all heard the saying 'Let go, let God'. The thoughts we need to question, the ones that brought us pain, suffering, angst and misery are the ones we have become devoted to. And they are the ones we have to let go of. So why do we find it so hard to let go? Perhaps because somewhere in there scrambled up in all the suffering were a few good moments. We want the good moments back and when we can't get them the tantrum starts, the argument with what is. In attaching to what we want something to be, we lose sight of the reality of what was and what is. We forget what clarity, acceptance and ease feel like. We become so devoted to the thought of how it could or should be that we lose all sight of how it actually is.
But we have a choice. We don't have to believe our thoughts. We can just question what we believe and in doing that they let go of us. Yes there is a cost involved. And we look at cost with a lot of concepts. Everything we do has a cost. A time cost, an emotional cost, a choice cost. One definition of cost is: " value measured by what must be given or done or undergone to obtain something". We tend to view cost as a loss of some kind or as a trial or suffering that we must undergo to get to the other side. But if we question our thoughts and our devotion to the cause to which we think we are so attached then the cost rapidly switches to a positive value.
The cost is simply the little bit of time and effort required in questioning a thought that when prised loose from the grip of misplaced devotion shines back at us with the simple uncomplicated truth of how it is. It's our choice whether to let go or whether to grip even harder. To me it's a no brainer. Let go and you get the whole 'let God' magic and the excitement of new possibilities. Grip harder and you right back on the same old merrygoround that you you went on before.
So what to choose - an old loop tape constantly repeating or open-ended freedom? I'll take the freedom every time along with another Katieism which is: "Reality is always kinder than the story we tell about it."
We've all heard the saying 'Let go, let God'. The thoughts we need to question, the ones that brought us pain, suffering, angst and misery are the ones we have become devoted to. And they are the ones we have to let go of. So why do we find it so hard to let go? Perhaps because somewhere in there scrambled up in all the suffering were a few good moments. We want the good moments back and when we can't get them the tantrum starts, the argument with what is. In attaching to what we want something to be, we lose sight of the reality of what was and what is. We forget what clarity, acceptance and ease feel like. We become so devoted to the thought of how it could or should be that we lose all sight of how it actually is.
But we have a choice. We don't have to believe our thoughts. We can just question what we believe and in doing that they let go of us. Yes there is a cost involved. And we look at cost with a lot of concepts. Everything we do has a cost. A time cost, an emotional cost, a choice cost. One definition of cost is: " value measured by what must be given or done or undergone to obtain something". We tend to view cost as a loss of some kind or as a trial or suffering that we must undergo to get to the other side. But if we question our thoughts and our devotion to the cause to which we think we are so attached then the cost rapidly switches to a positive value.
The cost is simply the little bit of time and effort required in questioning a thought that when prised loose from the grip of misplaced devotion shines back at us with the simple uncomplicated truth of how it is. It's our choice whether to let go or whether to grip even harder. To me it's a no brainer. Let go and you get the whole 'let God' magic and the excitement of new possibilities. Grip harder and you right back on the same old merrygoround that you you went on before.
So what to choose - an old loop tape constantly repeating or open-ended freedom? I'll take the freedom every time along with another Katieism which is: "Reality is always kinder than the story we tell about it."
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